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Possibly All The Beers I've Ever Had, Reviewed (N-Z, Aug. 2022)


Beer, beer, beer... There's so much that can be said and quoted about the stuff, ranging from the old standard, attributed to Ben Franklin, that "Beer is proof God loves us and wants us to be happy," to the new standard from Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh during his confirmation hearing: “I like beer. I don’t know if you do. Do you like beer, Senator, or not? What do you like to drink?”


I like it, too. I used to brew my own and experiment with tweaking the fermentation process. Sometimes it turned out, ehh, okay, and other times uncapping a bottle was reminiscent of one of those grade school science fair volcanos. These days, I'm more a consumer than a creator, always in search of the perfect (to me) product. I like to keep a record both as a hobby and so if the question ever arises, "Wait, have I had this?" it's not hard to find out.


As of 2022, I'm still getting used to the IBU (International Bitterness Units) scale, which ranges from 0 to a normal ceiling of 120. If you need an intro or a refresher, here's the gist:

IBUs of some common styles

​Beer style

IBU rating

Lambic

0-10

Wheat beer

8-18

American lager

8-26

Irish red ale

15-30

20-30

Pilsner

24-44

Porter

18-50

Bitter

24-50

Pale ale

30-50

Stout

30-90

Barleywine

34-120

India pale ale

40-120

Sure, every style isn't exactly precise, but it's helpful enough that I will probably stay away from the single and triple digits.


Now, if you happen to be looking for honest and independent reviews of anything and everything from a regular (and slightly trained via hobby brewing) sipper, this can be a good resource. And it's probably helpful to note that my preference generally (but not always) leans toward the slightly sweeter side.


Each beer is rating on a scale from 0 to 5. The higher the number, the better. I try to avoid decimals, but sometimes they feel necessary.

 

BREWS REVIEWED (Most have photos and some don't, but this post is a work in progress!)

​(no pic yet)

​Natakhtaki (Georgia)


It's a very basic, middle-of-the-road lager.


Rating: 3 out of 5


​(I somehow managed to not take a photo of this beer that had been around for a while. That will be remedied when we get another variety pack.)

​New Belgium (Ft. Collins, Colorado)

"Trippel" Belgian Tripel

8.5% ABV, 43 IBU, bottle


This one is enjoyable but deemed to be too sweet in this household. Thus, out of the New Belgium variety pack, this was the only style that sat in the back of the fridge for a while.


Rating: 3 out of 5


New Belgium (Ft. Collins, Colorado)

"Trippel" Belgian Tripel - "cinnamon citrus" special release

8% ABV, bottle


This is sweet but dialed back from the standard version, thankfully. The "cinnamon citrus" is distinguishable and kind of nice on a cold night.

Rating: 4.2 out of 5



New Belgium 1554 beer bottle - photo by KilmerMedia

​New Belgium (Ft. Collins, Colorado)

"1554" dark ale

6% ABV, bottle


My wife's review "This tastes brown." Yes, it does. It's nutty, and a little chocolaty, and a little spicy, and it's a really good wintertime beer. It's not too sweet, and another relatable note from this is an essence of Dr. Pepper. This one is fun and, fortunately for me, "this tastes brown" means the other two bottles of 1554 in the variety pack have my name on them.


Rating: 4.7 out of 5




​New Belgium (Ft. Collins, CO)

"Accumulation" winter hazy IPA

6.2% ABV, bottle


This is another solid choice for the winter variety pack. Taking a big whiff before a sip conjures up an image for me of topical fruit at breakfast - orange juice, bananas, red papayas. It's sweet but not as those notes may make it seem. There's also a little floral essence and just a little IPA bite.


Rating: 4 out of 5



New Belgium Dominga Mimosa Sour can poured - photo by KilmerMedia

​New Belgium (Ft. Collins, Colorado)

"Dominga" mimosa sour

ABV 6%, can


Again, 2022, it feels like we’re jumping the shark with all the weird beers. This one does, in fact, taste similar to a mimosa. But why do I need that in a beer? This one is part of a sampler pack and, as vague as interpretations can be, you could actually say this one is like a Bloody Mary. But would that sell as well as a mimosa? Of course not.


Rating: 3 out of 5



New Belgium Lime Light beer bottle - photo by KilmerMedia

​New Belgium

"Lime Light"

4.4% ABV, IBU 11, bottle


This tastes like they took Blue Light Lime and added some salt. 'nuff said.


Rating: 3.5 out of 5



New Belgium Summer Bliss Tropical Wheat beer bottle (2022) - photo by KilmerMedia

New Belgium

"Summer Bliss" tropical wheat

5.5% ABV, bottle


​It’s sweet and tart at the same time. This would be good during summer, after some vigorous activity, like mowing the grass…. That always seems to be my go-to thought for a beer with some sweetness... but I do also wish I could time travel and take this to football training camp in high school. I used to freeze Kool-aid and drink it as a slushy in the shadow of the football stadium during the lunch break, but illegally sipping on one of these would have been much more refreshing. Anyway, here we are… Yeah, wow, it smells a lot like pineapple juice and specifically tastes kind of like an Azorean pineapple (less acidic and sweet than the actually-not-so-great product Dole has cornered the market with). It also has somewhat of a cinnamon and kiwi essence. It's nice and definitely a tropical/summer type beer.


Rating: 4 out of 5



New Belgium Voodoo Ranger Juice Force IPA beer can (2022) - photo by KilmerMedia

​New Belgium

Voodoo Ranger "Juice Force" IPA

9.5% ABV, can


Oh, boy. This one is dangerous. It sure smells juicy, similar to o.j. And it sure tastes juice, again kind of like o.j. and a tropical punch mixed into a beer. For it being an IPA, it’s not insulting. It doesn’t offer a swift kick to the tongue and make me regret buying it. This one I like and, at 9.5%, this one could creep up on you.


Rating: 4.5 out of 5


​I did't take a photo of my red plastic cup.

​Not Your Father's Root Beer (Wauconda, Illinois)

5.9% ABV, draft


Mmmmmm, mmm, mmm. I've had this concoction just once, in Ohio, at a grocery store. I needed some supplies for Christmas dinner, so I met one of my good friends there, we shopped, and we got buzzed. The store (Jungle Jim's in Fairfield) has a bar inside. Have them serve you a drink in red plastic cup, to drink in the store, or take home a growler. Either way, Not Your Father's Root Beer was like a really good, tasty, classic root beer, but one that somehow can leave you feeling tipsy before Christmas dinner. It's a mystery what the drink even is (beer? a flavored malt beverage?), among other murkiness surrounding the operation, but hey, it was a fun thing to try.


Rating: 4.5 out of 5



Oishii witbier can poured - photo by KilmerMedia

​Oishii (Chicago, Illinois)

Belgian style white ale with ginger, orange peels, and coriander seeds

4.7% ABV, 15 IBU, can


At its heart, I had expected the white ale to be sweeter, like it would be closer to Blue Moon and with a fun bite of ginger to balance it out. Instead, it has a low profile, making the beer just mildly interesting and unique. More flavor, please!


Rating: 3 out of 5



Old Prague dark lager beer bottle - photo by KilmerMedia

​Old Prague (Czech Republic)

dark lager

4.6% ABV, bottle


The initial taste is like a watered down version of the Hofbrau Dunkel. Despite the bubbles and consistent head, it feels on the flat side. Looking beyond those notes, the flavor is good but could be better. This one imparts a sweet, toasted bread/malt character and, no surprise, notes of caramel. As the beer warms up, my interest in this one is waning more and more. Oddly, the warmer it is, the more a pilsner comes to mind.


Rating: 2.5 out of 5



Peroni Nastro Azzurro beer bottle - photo by KilmerMedia

​Peroni (Rome, Italy)

"Nature Azzurro"pale lager

5.1% ABV, bottle


This is a nice, clean beer. It's like a classic Stella Artois but without the inherent skunkiness. With a big whiff and a nice, slow and considerate gulp, corn comes to mind... and a little bit of lemon essence. It's still a light lager, so it's not patently dissimilar from an American lager that bore so many people. I'd still rather have this one, though, and it brings back great memories of splitting a pitcher or two of Peroni while traveling through Italy.


Rating: 4 out of 5



Primator Maibock beer bottle - photo by KilmerMedia

​Primator (Czech Republic)

Maibock

7.5% ABV


Pretty good. Malty taste and feel. Caramel and floral essence. This one is good. It lacks a complexity to make it 5/5, but it’s an enjoyable beer.


Rating: 4 out of 5


​(Dang it! I didn't get a photo, and Rivertown closed in 2022. R.I.P.)

​Rivertown (Monroe, Ohio)

"Roebling Porter" vanilla espresso imperial porter

7.9% ABV


For a porter, this one feels a little on the light side and, in this case, “light” certainly means "watery". The lightness may be a plus for some people that aren’t too big on porters. This one has your typical chocolate essence characteristic for this type of beer, and what’s interesting is that, to me, it has a slight feel of creamy peanut butter on the tongue. Specifically, and I’m only putting this out there since it’s an Ohio beer, the creaminess makes me think of a “buckeye” candy (similar to a peanut butter cup but round like a buckeye tree nut). I get the vanilla. I get the espresso. This one could just be slightly more bold. It still weirds me out that the beer scene is big not only in Cincinnati, but it’s also expanded to a place I know so well: Monroe, Ohio. Cheers, Rivertown!


Rating: 3.5 out of 5



Sagres beer bottle - photo by KilmerMedia

​Sagres (Portugal)

5% ABV, bottle


Pronounced "sarge", like short for "sargeant", this brewer has a considerable market share here in the Azores. I think every market and every bar I’ve been in carries it, except one, which sold only Super Bock mini bottles. Otherwise, those two mainland brands have the dominant market share on Terceira Island, and the only other new-to-me type I’ve seen is Peter Francisco. Otherwise, I have only seen Heineken.


Speaking of, that’s what the Sagres reminds me of. It’s pretty neutral and standard, with a malt, corn, and light citrusy-orange type essence.


Rating: 4 out of 5


Samson Czech Dark Lager beer bottle

Samson


It smells more complex than it tastes. It’s not that the flavor seems watered down (although this is just 4.5%), it’s just doesn’t have much going on. Toasted malt…. chocolate… there you go.


Rating: 3.8 out of 5



Samuel Adams Alpine Lager beer bottle - photo by KilmerMedia

Samuel Adams (Boston Beer Company)

"Alpine Lager"

5.5% ABV, bottle


This is the sort of thing a pale lager should be. It has a light citrus (orange) flavor, and yeah, I can close my eyes and conjure up a slight piney essence from this.


Rating: 4 out of 5


​(Somehow, I owe a photo here... but I bet you know what it looks like!)

​Samuel Adams (Boston Beer Company) "Boston Lager"

5% ABV, bottle


It might be "the beer that started it all," but here's a special note just for you, Boston Beer Company: please stop including it with every seasonal sampler pack. Whether the other flavors are good or not, at least they're interesting... the Boston Lager isn't that, and those bottles hang out in the back of my fridge until there's nothing else left to drink.


Rating: 1 out of 5



Samuel Adams Cold Snap white ale beer bottle - photo by KilmerMedia

​Samuel Adams (Boston)

"Cold Snap" white ale

5.3% ABV, bottle


My first thought: Shock Top or Blue Moon. This one is good. I certainly get light orange/orange peel, light vanilla, and light spices, like a cinnamon essence. Cold Snap, although seasonal, would be enjoyable any time of the year. Upon a subsequent tasting, from a different case, my first thought was "Fruity Pebbles". Janine's was "cake".


Rating: 4 out of 5



Samuel Adams Golden G.O.A.T. lager beer - photo by KilmerMedia

​Samuel Adams (Boston Beer Company)

"Golden G.O.A.T." lager

5% ABV, bottle


In 2021/2022, the Winter Sampler beers have gotten less wintery. The Boston Lager always sucks, and this new one, Golden G.O.A.T., is like they stole a vat of Firestone's 805, added extra water, then put it on the market. It's light and easy drinking but nothing at all G.O.A.T. I know, I know, the name is also probably also a nod to a notorious Boston sports cheat. But which one?


Rating: 3 out of 5



Samuel Adams Jack-O Pumpkin Ale beer - photo by KilmerMedia

Samuel Adams (Boston Beer Company)

"Jack-O Pumpkin Ale"

4.4% ABV, bottle


Ick. I like pumpkin pie, but this beer tastes like some science lab chemicals and some "whipped cream extract" were infused with pumpkin pie spice and stirred into a beer. I appreciate the attempt at something fun and unique, but the Jack-O fermentation tank(s) should have been slapped with a "not fit for human consumption" label, instead of getting people to buy it by working it into a variety pack.


Rating: 0 out of 5



Samuel Adams Octoberfest beer bottle - photo by KilmerMedia

​Samuel Adams (Boston Beer Company)

"Octoberfest"

5.3% ABV, bottle


Good Lord, this beer has a lot of haters - an entire Reddit thread is devoted to bashing it. I don't share the same sentiment. However, either my tastes have changed or the beer has changed, but I do still like it... I just don't LOVE it. In 2020, I didn't buy enough before the Octobe